Falling Into Fall

Fall means hayrides, pumpkin patches and apple picking.  On a recent warm fall weekend afternoon, we experienced it all!

This is Justin in the early years exploring pumpkin patches, when autism was just a word.

 

Fast forward 20+ years, and here he is today ... still exploring, although he and the pumpkins have gotten bigger.

Lauren chose the perfect pumpkin to carve.

Freshly made caramel apples are yummy!  We bought the one on the left and a few of its friends.

Children of the corn.

Hayride love.

Apple picking and eating.

 

Apple slushes while apple picking.

Autism, Dorney Park and the Kindness of Strangers

A day at an amusement park with a child who has autism can be challenging and stressful, though not so much when the destination is Dorney Park in Allentown, Pennsylvania.  My son Justin obsessed and talked about little else for weeks.  He was so excited that we moved up the date.  On an unseasonably chilly summer morning, Justin, his sister, her friend and I headed off to Dorney Park. 

Justin knew which rides he wanted to go on and in what order.  Which brings us to the Stinger.  During that one minute and 30 second roller coaster thrill ride, Justin's prescription glasses flew off his face.  This is where the day could have ended in disaster.

I took Justin to the car so he could be in a quiet place with little stimulation while his sister and her friend searched for the missing glasses.  From the parking lot, I called ride services and spoke with a supervisor who told me there was nothing he could do and that we would have to wait until 10:00 pm when the park closed and the rides were turned off before we could get any help in our search.  I was crushed.  I thought that weeks (four) of anticipation and planning were down the drain and that we would be heading home.  I didn't cry.  Not yet.

Imagine my surprise when shortly after returning to the ride, a crew of uniformed employees arrived to help us in our search.  A supervisor gave instructions and the reinforcements were off.  I don't know if they closed the ride to clean up throw up (which they did in fact do) or to look for the glasses, but either way the Stinger was out of commission long enough for them to search the places we couldn't go.   

One young male employee ended up saving the day.  He, on his own initiative, started searching moments after Justin finished the ride.  He said he wouldn't stop looking and, by golly, he was true to his word.  He found one lens and, eventually, the other which was far away from the first.  I wish I would have hugged him and given him a reward because he deserved both.

The frames never resurfaced, but with the assistance of two first aid employees, I was able to tape Justin's prescription lenses on top of a pair of weak reading glasses I found in the bottom of my purse.  His sister said he looked like a minion from Despicable Me, but the MacGyver fix worked and we were able to stay and enjoy what was left of the afternoon. 

Here is Justin wearing his minion glasses.    

I would like to thank Keith Koepka, Director of Operations, for his kindness, and all of the employees of Dorney Park who worked together to make Justin's day a happy and memorable one.  Thank you for the tears of joy and relief.

~Merrill ♥

Note:  Many people with autism easily become anxious and overstimulated, Justin included.  If you have a child with autism and are planning a trip to Dorney Park, I recommend you check out their Tips for Guests with ASD page, as well as Ann Schlosser's and The Autism Society's amusement park guides. 

Autism Meets Paula Deen

Some boys love sports.  In Justin's case, it is Paula Deen!  My son Justin has autism, and for as long as I can remember, he has been crazy about calendars, food, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune and ... Paula Deen.  Because Justin has autism, he has little interest in current events, including news of celebrities who have made poor decisions.  Instead, he lives his life one day at a time.

Justin left school early on a cold December afternoon for a chance to meet his idol, Paula Deen.  When Williams Sonoma learned that Justin had autism, they brought him to the front of the line.  Thank you, Williams Sonoma! ♥

Paula and her husband, Michael, were gracious, friendly and funny.  They were most kind to Justin and seemed genuinely interested in hearing about the meals he was helping to prepare in his life skills class at school.  Justin was quite happy that they signed his cook book and his Paula Deen t-shirt.

During a trip a few years later to Savannah, Georgia, we took an old time trolley to Paula Deen's restaurant, The Lady and Sons.  The restaurant occupies an entire city block and is hugely popular with tourists.  We went to buy a red "Hey, Y'all!" t-shirt for Justin and ended up going back for dinner.

At the time, they did not accept call ahead reservations which meant we had to wait quite awhile for table.  Genius on their part to locate the gift shop right where one needed to wait in order to hear his or her name being called for a table.  

When our name was finally called, we traveled by elevator to the third floor.  I ordered tilapia which was greasy but good.

Hands down, the highlight of the meal was the skillet hoecake.  Topped with maple syrup, it was a taste of heaven! 

We had a wonderful time in Savannah, and can't wait to go back!

~Merrill ♥

I Want to Know What Love Is

Love is ... waiting patiently for 23 years to hear my child with autism tell me he loves me.

At 3:29 p.m. EDT on May 31, 2013, my son said, "I love you, Mommy" independently for the very first time in his entire life.  Four little syllables and I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating.  I choked back the tears and said, "I love you, too, Justin."     

Sometimes a boy wearing a clown wig [who loves his mommy ♥] just needs to hop scotch.

~Merrill ♥

Think Green: Dairy-Free Shamrock Shakes

Justin, who has autism, has been talking about dairy-free shamrock shakes and green cookies for weeks.  Justin makes sure that every holiday is a celebration!  Last year for St. Patrick's Day we had green gluten-free pancakes for breakfast.

All that is needed for dairy-free shamrock shakes is:

• A blender
• Dairy-free vanilla ice cream
• Dairy-free milk (we like almond)
• Peppermint or mint extract
• Green food coloring

The end result is creamy and minty and yummy!

Happy St. Patrick's Day, from our family to yours.

~Merrill ♥   

O Christmas Tree

Over the years, my family has delivered hundreds and hundreds of small living Christmas trees to teachers, therapists, neighbors, family members and friends.  Because our son, Justin, has autism, there have been scads of people who have needed a sign of appreciation at the holidays (and other times, too).  Now that Justin has graduated high school, he no longer has that wonderful support network.  In fact, the lack of accessible services for those with mental health and neurological challenges in the United States is heartbreaking.  If you haven't yet read "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," you should.  It will take you less than five minutes.  Something must be done.

If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a [Christmas] tree. - Jim Rohn 

This year, we focused our tree efforts on those who live alone and do not have family members nearby.  These are people who would not likely otherwise have a Christmas tree.

Each package included one live tree, a sparkly frame with a picture of our kids, mini ornaments, ornament hangers, LED battery operated lights and AA batteries.

Small trees are available at nurseries, and even grocery stores.

The mini ornaments and hangers were from Target.

 The battery operated LED lights were also from Target.

If the recipient lived far away, we packed everything inside a free Priority Mail shoe box, available online from the United States Parcel Service HERE, and mailed it.  The USPS will deliver shipping boxes to your home for free.  

This is Justin last year at a nursing home, delivering trees.

 
This holiday season (and throughout the year), surprise someone who needs it.

Merry Christmas! 

~Merrill ♥   

College Essay: A Sister's Love for Her Brother with Autism

When it was time for my daughter, Lauren, to write her college essay she did not hesitate for a moment.  She knew immediately that her personal story would be about life with her brother, Justin, who happens to have autism.  

Suffice it say, Lauren was accepted to a great university where she will study Bioengineering, and she plans to cure autism.  (Update:  Lauren has since interned at Harvard University's Massachusetts General Hospital where she conducted autism research.  She will receive her Bachelor of Science degree in Bioengineering from Lehigh University in May of 2015, then immediately start a Master's degree program).  

I am so proud of her kind heart, brilliant mind and her desire to help others.  Lauren and Justin remain close and talk to each other often.  

I will let her essay speak for itself. ♥

Lauren's College Essay

There are some things in life that you learn from being in school, sitting at a desk.  There are other things that you can only learn from those who surround you.  I was lucky enough to learn a lot of these life experiences early, courtesy of a very unique person in my midst.

My brother Justin was diagnosed with autism just a few weeks before I was born, so growing up I never knew there was a difference.  It was when I started to get older, looking at my friends and their siblings, that I noticed we were not the same. 

Justin lacked the normal motor skills that I possessed, so effortless tasks like brushing his teeth were quite the challenge.  If I wasn’t patient with him and talking him through it, he would be frustrated and have a meltdown.  I needed to slow down, take a step back from the situation, realize that he was not capable of doing things as easily as I could, and help him through it.

Instead of fighting, we helped each other to learn and grow. While I was giving Justin a hand with everyday simple things — though I may not have seen it at the time — he was teaching me about patience, understanding, and advocacy.

One of the most valuable lessons learned because of Justin was to stand up for what I believe.  Between defending my brother at the local pool where kids, ignorant of his situation, would constantly splash him in the face, to watching my mother battle for Justin’s rights, I have learned that if you want something, you have to go get it.  If I wanted the kids at the pool to leave Justin alone, I was going to have to stop them myself.  Just as Justin’s needs in school were special, mine were too and if I wanted to get all that I could out of my education, I was going to have to advocate for myself.

When I was younger, I wished every day that my brother did not have autism, but now that I look back, I would not change him for the world.  Justin made me the person I am today: a patient, understanding, and strong-willed female.  I don’t know who I would have been without him, but I am quite happy with the person I have become.

~Merrill ♥

Justin's Fan Club Shows Its Support at Graduation

Graduation is a time for celebration.  Traditional decorations were not going to cut it for Justin's big day!  Justin's face on sticks was the answer.  There were 22 Justin faces in all, circulating Pottsgrove High School's stadium the evening of graduation.  Many, many thanks to everyone who attended and showed their support! ♥    

DIY:  I cropped and resized Justin's cap and gown photo using Picasa (a free photo editing program from Google), printed them on card stock, cut them out and then used packing tape to adhere them to paint stirrers.  This was so much fun!  I might try it again for a birthday celebration.

 

Congratulations, Justin! ♥

...and to the entire Class of 2012!  Hats off to you!

 

~Merrill ♥ 

Justin is the Recipient of The Student Government Perseverance Award

per·se·ver·ance:  steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement.

Today, Pottsgrove High School held its annual Senior Awards Day Ceremony.  Justin, who has autism, received The Student Government Perseverance Award.  The Perseverance Award is presented to an individual who has displayed tremendous courage in overcoming obstacles throughout his/her high school career.  That certainly is our Justin. 

Justin received the most applause.  He was thrilled.  I cried. ♥  

Following the ceremony, there was a lovely reception in the library where our rock star principal, Mrs. Yolanda Williams, congratulated Justin.

Congratulations, Justin and the entire class of 2012. 

~Merrill ♥ 

End of the School Year Teacher Appreciation

After 17 years of public school, next week Justin will be saying goodbye to his teachers, therapists, aides, administrators and coaches who we have grown to love and admire.  This year we are gifting brightly colored dahlias as small tokens of our appreciation. 

You may remember reading about Justin's outstanding life skills teacher, Melissa DeStefano, HERE.  Mrs. DeStefano has taught Justin for the past six years with grace, humor and compassion.  She and her colleagues are our heroes and will be dearly missed.

 Thank you. ♥

~Merrill ♥ 

Special Olympics Challenges and Delights Montgomery County Athletes

Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.

Students from Montgomery County, Pennsylvania gathered today at Souderton Area High School to compete in, and support, Special Olympics.  Pottsgrove High School athletes, teachers, therapists, aides and buddies enjoyed a day of sun and fun.

Pottsgrove High School's band played on while athletes and buddies boarded their buses.

 

Five years ago, life skills class teacher extraordinaire, Melissa DeStefano, approached Pottsgrove School District with the hope of having her students participate in Special Olympics.  The district approved, and her athletes have returned each year since earning many awards and fond memories.  Thank you, Mrs. DeStefano and Pottsgrove School District! ♥

Every one expressed excitement in his or her own way.

Justin and fellow Olympians announced the arrival of Team Pottsgrove by carrying a handmade banner around the track. 

A Souderton Area High School student kicked off the games with the Olympic Torch Relay.

Running.  If you were to ask Justin what he did at Special Olympics, he would tell you "running, jumping, throwing."  Here he is giving the 200m his all.

Justin's Pottsgrove High School buddies did a great job making sure he arrived at each event on time.

Educating someone with autism is a huge job.  Here is Justin with some of the amazing people who work with him: his teacher, speech therapist, occupational therapist and ESY/gym teacher.

 Lauren would not have missed supporting her brother for anything.

Jumping.

Justin and his pal, Josh.

Throwing.

We do not remember days; we remember moments.  Today was filled with wonderful moments. ♥

~Merrill ♥